Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it (I Corinthians 12:14-26).

***

I’m a grown up now, but my life has been plagued with this notion that conflict is bad. Conflict must be avoided. If I offer a difference of opinion that brings about conflict, then I am the source of it, and I am bad. Conflict means rejection. Conflict means THE END.

I have grown up in a system that rewards the approval of man: Be liked at all costs, don’t make waves, don’t address what’s broken, keep your mouth shut about anything that challenges the status quo, and for God’s sake, stay silent about your faith.

To succeed in this system means compromise, ambivalence and the life of a chameleon. Fitting in comes at the cost of “being all things to all people,” not to win some for Christ, but for the sake of being liked. I have grown up in a system that says, “You don’t belong to the body unless you are the same as the other parts.”

Yes, I want to be liked, but what do I do when my convictions are burning me alive? I can’t stay silent. I can’t not speak. But speaking brings the risk of conflict, no matter how gently, carefully, and diplomatically I articulate my thoughts. So I have retreated into a lonely life of isolation and independence while pursuing this quest to find my place in the body.

Maybe I need a new paradigm. What if conflict is to be expected, maybe even embraced? What if conflict is no longer the end, but the beginning to a greater end?

What if persevering through conflict means unifying diversity for a greater whole even if we don’t agree on every matter? What if conflict brings about community instead of division? What if conflict stretches, shapes, and grows me and each individual as it unifies diversity to bring about a greater whole?

We still might not agree on every point, and it might be a bumpy ride, but in the end, we could leverage what works for the whole by incorporating the best of all parts.